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Navigating Expectations and Emotions: Insights from Human Design


The only gate I have in my undefined Solar Plexus is gate 30 (the gate of Desires). It is in my Design Mars, which is a very significant placement, so this gate of desires has been a deep source of contemplation for me over the past few years.

My usual emotional state is chill. I don't feel anything when I'm alone, but today I felt an emotional drop and became really disappointed and frustrated very quickly. When I reflected on the “why,” it was linked to unmet expectations. There's a story behind this, which I'll spare you, but the gist is, I thought something was going to happen a certain way and it didn't.

I’ve felt this rapid drop in emotions before, so I decided to investigate expectations. I wanted to know if it's possible to live life without expectations, pondering if expectations are even real, and how expectations and desires influence my emotions. After a lot of time spent talking to friends and learning more about this topic through the lens of my human design, it has been life-changing for me!

Understanding Expectations

Richard Rudd, the translator of Gene Keys, said something that really helped me understand how to navigate the energetics of Expectations. He said:

"Expectation itself should not be seen as a bad thing. It depends on how you react to your own expectations and is a measure of how much trust you have in life. Whenever you feel circumstances moving out of your control, you can immediately see how attached you are or how detached you are. Every time you identify with an expectation, you set yourself up for disappointment. It is actually possible to hold an expectation without being attached to it, which occurs naturally with gate 42's high expression of detachment."

In my personal experience, this mindset makes a lot of sense to me, and has required me to expand my consciousness and to realize the Universe has grander expectations for me than my mind can even comprehend!

Expectations in the Human Design Chart

Expectations in the human design chart show up in several places.

#1) Gate 30 (The Gate of Feelings) and Gate 36 (The Gate of Crisis)

If you have a hanging gate 30 or gate 36, whether in an undefined or defined Solar Plexus, this energy is prone to emotions being triggered by unmet desires or expectations.

In my personal experience with a hanging gate 30 in an undefined Solar Plexus, the emotions feel like they come out of nowhere! I often experience what I would call stealth expectations — I wasn't consciously aware I even had the desire until it didn't happen. The energy feels like the rug gets pulled out from under me, and I immediately experience a Manifesting Generator's not-self theme of frustration, and especially anger.

Gate 30 desires new experiences, so how can I enjoy the process and the journey as it unfolds without having any mental expectations at the end of it?? It's the journey that can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.

#2) Channel 41-30 (Channel of Recognition) and Channel 36-35 (Channel of Transitoriness)

If you have the full channel 41-30 or channel 36-35, this creates an emotional wave that is the most detectable and substantial wave of the 4 possible emotional waves someone can have. It is felt as a build up to strong highs and crashes into deep lows. I've also heard it described as an elevator, and you can feel it quickly dropping and anticipate the "bottom out" feeling that's about to occur.

The deep lows of this emotional wave are especially impacted when your desires, outcome, expectations aren’t met. The emotions are difficult and can feel disproportionate to the situation that actually happened. These emotional lows can last quite a long time, especially when you're unaware of your energetics being prone to "hooking" into expectations and unmet desires.

To navigate these two emotional waves with more ease, focus on releasing all expectations that come from the mind, and be open to any outcome that may come from a new experience.

When you know your human design chart and have awareness of an emotional connection to expectations, you can start to practice not becoming attached to your expectations. Literally naming it: “I have this expectation and I’m releasing it.” It's possible to still have big ideas and go for things without being attached to any specific outcome. If not, there's a high likelihood you will end up disappointed 100% of the time.

#3) Gate 42 (The Gate of Growth)

Gate 42.2 is my Personality Jupiter, so I really feel this energy in my chart. Juniper gates are qualities that brings you the most joy, abundance, and expansion. No other planet besides the Sun sign influences our human design as much as Jupiter.

In Gene Keys, this is my Pearl sphere. The shadow is Expectations. This is when desires get entangled with the projections of your mind. Can you accept expectations as mental illusions?

Gate 42 is located in the Sacral Center and is the tenacity and fuel to stay with a cycle to completion in order to maximize its inherent potential. Gate 42's powerful energy can fuel your determination and perseverance to stay committed to the process despite challenges or setbacks along the way. It's a strong desire to complete something that is lighting you up.

Where this energy can get you in trouble is it can be very easy to hold certain expectations about the outcome or trajectory of a project, plan, idea, cycle, etc. You may be driven to complete a project or assignment in order to fulfill the expectations you've placed on yourself or the expectations you sense others have placed on you.

However, it's essential to recognize that while expectations can provide motivation and direction, they can be limiting if you become overly attached to specific outcomes. How can you maintain flexibility and adaptability, allowing space for the cycle to unfold organically and for new opportunities and insights to emerge along the way?

The gift of gate 42 is Detachment, and the siddhi (ultimate attainment) is Celebration, and I love that vibe! I have felt myself transform this area of my life quite quickly just from the simple awareness of Detachment and Celebration being the polarity of Expectations along a continuum. I've been very conscientious about prioritizing celebrating life in general. Laughter and lightness is so helpful with this energy. This mindfulness has given me more abundance and helped me detach from the expectations.

Ultimately, by having desires without attaching to expectations, we can be more adaptive and harness the tenacity to stay with a full cycle to completion. This will maximize its inherent potential while remaining receptive to the unexpected possibilities that may arise.

Tips for Managing Unmet Expectations

#1: Leverage your Human Design. Which of the gates mentioned above do you have defined in your chart? Study theses gates to understand how the specific gift you have might influence your emotional responses. Learn the high and low expression so you have a benchmark to strive for.

#2: Practice Detachment. Recognize and release attachment to specific outcomes or expectations. Let’s be detached to what this outcome is going to be. We can have an intention and be committed, and also hold it loosely.

Note: detachment does NOT mean to not feel! By detaching, you will actually be able to feel things even more intensely because the expectation isn't constricting your experience.

#3: Celebrate More! As a Manifesting Generator, I remind myself to incorporate fun! Celebration is a journey of laughter, play, and lightness. Celebration feels like flow, and because gate 42 is in the Sacral, responding (not reacting) is essential.

Are your expectations clouding the celebration of the ending or blocking true reflection about the lesson to be received? Have a "shedding" party to allow the celebration in.

#4: Embrace your Emotional Lows. Instead of fighting emotional crashes, embrace them as opportunities for creativity and growth. Explore how you can channel these emotions into productive outlets. Find a way to move through the disappointment; otherwise, the deep, paralyzing emotions can feel like they get stuck in your body and it weighs you down.

#5: Communicate Clearly. Prioritize clear communication of expectations in relationships and situations to minimize misunderstandings and disappointment. Do not assume things.

For me personally, if another person’s actions are why I feel disappointed, then I have to check in and see where I am giving my power away and how I can reclaim it. I also reflect on whether I communicated my desires clearly or at all. Oftentimes, I had a lot of assumptions about a person or situation.

#6: Trust and Surrender to the Universe. Trust that the Universe's plans for you are always more magical than anything you could imagine on your own. Surrender control and embrace the magic of unexpected outcomes. An expectation is a sense of control because we don’t yet trust. It’s ok. Acknowledge that. It’s likely conditioning. Find ways to interrupt that conditioning pattern that will allow you to expand and have a greater sense of what could be the norm.

I have Innocence Motivation, and going into a cycle innocently while in Response (as a Man-Gen) feels like surrendered flow.

Reflect on the times when not getting what you wanted ended up being a huge blessing in disguise. Journaling helps a lot. The key is Trust, a lot of trust! Focus on cultivating self-trust, in your actions and in those around you, to navigate uncertainties with confidence.

#7: Practice Self-Love. Show yourself compassion and grace, especially during challenging times. Practice self-care and prioritize activities that nourish your well-being.

Human Design Appointments

Navigating expectations and emotions is an ongoing journey, and incorporating insights from Human Design provides amazing guidance for this process! By implementing proactive strategies for emotional well-being, we can cultivate greater harmony and fulfillment in our lives.

Are you ready to explore how Human Design can help you navigate expectations and emotions? I believe growth requires more than one appointment, which is why I offer an initial appointment (90 minutes) with a follow-up appointment (60 minutes).

If you think a one time appointment is more ideal for you, I also offer that option.

Much love,

Kelly xo


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